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Our family consists of Paul (aka Daddy or Daddy-Doo). He loves his little girls, wife and family more than anything in the world. Velvet (aka MaMa Velvet or Mommy). I'm a photographer and very happy stay at home Mom who can't get enough time with my little ones! Lily (aka Monster, Stinkerbutt and Sweet Pea). She's a very smart, talkative, opinionated and loving 9 year old! Addison (aka Addi-Doo, Addi Bo Baddy and Turkey Butt). She's 5, spunky, energetic, snuggly, and full of so much sass! Finally, we've got Scarlett (Munchkin Butt, Bo, and The Cheese Monster)! She's 3 years old and enjoys playing by herself, sneaking cheese, and playing pretend with everyone!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Exorcism in the Shower

I guess I should start this post off with a TMI warning.
 
This is gonna be full of naked talk.
 
This morning I lamented via social media that when I had daydreamed about showering with another human being it had not involved two screaming naked toddlers.
 
Heck, it didn't even involve well mannered fully clothed toddlers.
 
As an adult whom has acted on her daydreams a time or two and has found herself to be in charge of a toddler or three I have some information to share with you.
 
Once you have children you can pretty much kiss any dreams of showering on your own goodbye.
 
Ha!
 
Adios to showering on a regular basis.
 
I tell you all of this so that I may share this story with you.
 
 
 
 
We were getting ready for church one morning and Paul told me I could run upstairs to take a well deserved solo shower.
 
It may or may have been three whole stink filled days since my last one.
 
I received 10 glorious minutes of hot watered goodness before Paul declared that he also needed to shower before we left the house.
 
I grabbed a towel and made sure to cover everything well because if he was kicking me out of my happy place he wasn't gonna get any enjoyment out of it.
 
I begrudgingly swapped places with him just as Addison came tearing into our bathroom butt naked and screaching about how she NEEDED to take a bath too.
 
Paul has been adament about not showering with the girls past the age of 6 months.
 
Lets just say once the kids can stand everything's a bit more accessible and that whole prospect just gives him the hee-bee gee-bees.
 
Normally I would have sent her off with a big fat no but she had smothered herself in some unknown substance and did need to get a good scrubbing.
 
So I told her fine and that she had to be super quick.
 
This is the part that I need you to envision in your head the most gutteral noise a two year old can muster up.
 
Like she's got a wicked bad scratchy throat and some half digested milk is making it's way back up.
 
As she jumped in the shower with her father for the first time since she was 6 months old she exorcist growled.
 
"DADDY I CAN SEE YO NAKED!!!"
 
Paul declared "NO!" at an alarming loud pitch and turned around in the shower.
 
My little Linda Blair was not to be stopped in her quest for embarassment.
 
She immediately bongo drummed her fathers butt in time with her quick shrieks of "BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT!".
 
Paul threw that shower curtain open screaming "NEVER AGAIN" and exited our bathroom faster then I ever thought possible.
 
Addison just stood in the tub looking bewildered and confused.
 
I laughed.
 
Excessively.
 
 
On a side note, we are starting potty training next week with Scarlett!
 
She's gonna be all pantied up!
 
I'm so excited to be finished with diapers and the whole process is reminding me of funny stories from when Addison and Lily were potty training.
 
Can't wait to share them all with you!


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