Exorcism in the Shower

I guess I should start this post off with a TMI warning.

 

This is gonna be full of naked talk.

 

This morning I lamented via social media that when I had daydreamed about showering with another human being it had not involved two screaming naked toddlers.

 

Heck, it didn't even involve well mannered fully clothed toddlers.

 

As an adult whom has acted on her daydreams a time or two and has found herself to be in charge of a toddler or three I have some information to share with you.

 

Once you have children you can pretty much kiss any dreams of showering on your own goodbye.

 

Ha!

 

Adios to showering on a regular basis.

 

I tell you all of this so that I may share this story with you.

 

Addison.

 

Is.

 

Embarassing.

 

We were getting ready for church one morning and Paul told me I could run upstairs to take a well deserved solo shower.

 

It may or may have been three whole stink filled days since my last one.

 

I received 10 glorious minutes of hot watered goodness before Paul declared that he also needed to shower before we left the house.

 

I grabbed a towel and made sure to cover everything well because if he was kicking me out of my happy place he wasn't gonna get any enjoyment out of it.

 

I begrudgingly swapped places with him just as Addison came tearing into our bathroom butt naked and screaching about how she NEEDED to take a bath too.

 

Paul has been adament about not showering with the girls past the age of 6 months.

 

Lets just say once the kids can stand everything's a bit more accessible and that whole prospect just gives him the hee-bee gee-bees.

 

Normally I would have sent her off with a big fat no but she had smothered herself in some unknown substance and did need to get a good scrubbing.

 

So I told her fine and that she had to be super quick.

 

This is the part that I need you to envision in your head the most gutteral noise a two year old can muster up.

 

Like she's got a wicked bad scratchy throat and some half digested milk is making it's way back up.

 

As she jumped in the shower with her father for the first time since she was 6 months old she exorcist growled.

 

"DADDY I CAN SEE YO NAKED!!!"

 

Paul declared "NO!" at an alarming loud pitch and turned around in the shower.

 

My little Linda Blair was not to be stopped in her quest for embarassment.

 

She immediately bongo drummed her fathers butt in time with her quick shrieks of "BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT!".

 

Paul threw that shower curtain open screaming "NEVER AGAIN" and exited our bathroom faster then I ever thought possible.

 

Addison just stood in the tub looking bewildered and confused.

 

I laughed.

 

Excessively.

 

 

On a side note, we are starting potty training next week with Scarlett!

 

She's gonna be all pantied up!

 

I'm so excited to be finished with diapers and the whole process is reminding me of funny stories from when Addison and Lily were potty training.

 

Can't wait to share them all with you!



7 and Stunning.

She posed for me!

 

This is a momentous occasion people!

 

What a lovely little lady she is becoming.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Pinterest: Crack of the Internet.

Pinterest, oh Pinterest.

 

How I love thee.

 

I am a crafty person to begin with.

 

I love a good YouTube 'How To'.

 

So when Pinterest came into my life I was (and still continue to be) like a kid in a huge, sparkly, glitter covered, sweets filled, hand made shelves candy shop.

 

I tend to 'Pin' things that are food related or childrens craft related so when I came across a 'How To Make Your Own Stenciled Plates' I knew it would be something my girls would LOVE.

 

It was pretty simple really.

 

I grabbed a couple white plates from the dollar tree and gathered all my different colored sharpies from home.

 

You preheat your oven and color your plates with the sharpies and then bake them for 30-45 minutes.

 

Voila!

 

Permanent personalized plates that cost you $1 AND kept your monster children quiet and entertained for an entire 1/2 hour!

 

One entire glorious 1/2 hour.

 

Sadly the sharpie isn't as permanent as all those pins would like you to believe and rubbed off (or washed off) pretty much immediately after.

 

Oh well.

 

We did Salt Dough Christmas ornaments directly after this and they turned out great!

 

Of course I didn't take pictures of any of that so you get to look at pictures of them coloring plates.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've heard rumors of ceramic pens working but that they are best used in a location that foods or liquids won't be touching.

 

Maybe we'll try decorating some coffee cups next time!



The Harriot Wedding Day

I'm in a pool of wedding photo editing today and am determined to get the rest of my weddings finished this week.

 

Going through all that ooey gooey lovey dovey mush though had me reminiscing about my wedding.

 

Paul and I dated for 2 years before our big day arrived.

 

For the entire 2 years of our courtship I had been leading Paul to believe that the female population was incapable of pooping.

 

At least the decent portion of the female population because a "lady" shouldn't be able to do that.

 

It's foul.

 

Anyway, he was hard pressed to believe me because his lovely little bundle of joy had produced many a diaper and he claimed he knew better.

 

Because Lily was definitely the littlest of ladies...

 

but she was also the stinkiest of ladies.

 

I still soldiered on though and vehemently denied the possibility of a woman deficating.

 

Our big day came along and it was absolutely amazing thanks to our lovely friends and supportive family.

 

Paul looked amazing.

 

 

Aside from someone letting me stick a boquet of flowers in my hair I felt like a beautiful bride.

 

 

(Check out that glorious mullet please.)

(Love you Daddy!)

 

Paul and I sealed the deal that day.

 

Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

 

Or else.

 

We did our couples portraits immediatly after the ceremony.

 

It was a great moment after our ceremony for Paul and I to have a few minutes alone.

 

We hadn't seen each other since the day before and wanted to recap our experience from the whole day.

 

I took this moment, right after he said 'for better or worse', to air my dirty laundry.

 

"Babe..."

 

"I poop."

 

Yup.

 

That moment happened.

 

Right there.

 

Caught in time forever.

 

My husband loves me.

 

It's ok though that I ruined our super romantical moment with poop talk.

 

I had forgotten to lay down the cake eating law earlier and didn't realize.

 

 

One nose full of cake and 2 years of lying revealed later we were even.

 

Love you Mr. Harriot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s. Sorry about all the poop talk.

 

It's a regular topic in our house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our wedding portraits were take by Mrs. Melissa Williams of http://melissawphotography.blogspot.com/

 



Caption This.

I took family portraits for my Mom and Dad last Sunday with my little ladies.

 

They were all having a blast and throwing tons of leaves.

 

When we were finished everyone started to head back to the house except for Addison and my Parents.

 

She was too jacked up about the leaf throwing to just quit that easily.

 

She had grabbed the biggest handful she could and was all prepped for throwing when I delivered the bad new that we were, in fact, finished.

 

My Dad didn't want to burst her happy bubble so he encouraged her to throw her last handful.

 

This is what she did...

 

 

Straight at the side of her head with as little enthusiasm as possible.

 

My Dad and I had a blast captioning this image and the emotions she must have been feeling.

 

Most of our captions aren't "family blog friendly" though.

 

Doesn't mean you can't tell me what you think she's saying!

 

Can't wait to hear what you all come up with!



Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet!

Happy day after Halloween everyone!

 

Hope you're all enjoying your sugar induced coma rest today!

 

Yesterday I turned 27 and spent the day trick or treating with my munchkins.

 

The best way to spend a birthday if you ask me.

 

We started our adventure off by stoping by Nani and Papa's house to show them our costumes.

 

 

I don't know why she's under the piano so don't bother asking.

 

She's just weird that way.

 

 

She's already started shoveling candy and treats into her face.

 

 

We ended up taking Uncle Randy and Aunt Chelsea to the school down the street for some begging.

 

They were handing out full size candy bars and I just couldn't pass up that opportunity.

 

 

Spider baby in full costume.

 

 

They waited pretty patiently for the trick or treating to start!

 

 

Addison did really great with her "pleases" and "Thank you's!".

 

 

Scarlett would yell "treat!" and then scream "BYE BYE!".

 

Everyone thought the little boy was cute.

 

They don't make any cute girl super hero costumes for 18 month olds.

 

 

Then we met up with some new friends and their two adorable kiddos and enjoyed ourselves some trick or treating!

 

 

Sorry about the crazy bad focus.

 

It was super dark and I kind of set it to a certain distance and guessed when to take the picture.

 

 

Scarlett did super great for her first time trick or treating!

 

She wanted to walk the whole time and refused to let anyone carry her.

 

 

I know you can't hear it...

 

but she's shrieking like an injured banshee in this photo.

 

 

Definitely wanted to walk like the big kids.

 

Oh yeah, Paul's growing a mustache for 'No Shave November'.

 

It's been interesting.

 

 

Addison spent most of the evening asking all the home owners what their decorations were about.

 

Also if we were going to more houses.

 

 

She's screaming again in that one.

 

Also wiggling like her butt's on fire so that Dad will put her down.

 

 

All the kiddos did a great job of taking turns for who got to knock.

 

I never thought that I'd ever spend time dealing with an argument over who gets to knock first as a parent.

 

Add that to the list of stuff no one ever tells you about raising kids!

 

 

 

Addison got pretty tired of me making her say cheese.

 

 

Scarlett did a lot of "jumping" while she walked.

 

It consisted of shaking her head in the yes motion very vigorously and stomping.

 

She said "jump" a lot also like it would actually help her feet leave the ground.

 

 

Lily and her friend Noah spent most of the evening 10-20 feet ahead of the group.

 

Gotta hustle to that next house!

 

 

He was the only boy.

 

I kept calling him a girl on accident.

 

I guess that's what happens when you're surrounded by little ladies all day long!

 

Sorry Noah!

 

 

 

We eventually told the big kids they had to let the littles go first.

 

They'd shove past them to get to the candy because they were so excited!

 

 

I purchase Addison a super man hat similar to Scarlett's spider man hat but couldn't bring myself to cover up her curls!

 

 

This picture looks sweet but in reality Lily is forcing a hug on Scarlett while she shrieks "NO LILY!" at the top of her lungs.

 

I swear they love each other.

 

 

Scarlett promptly held hands with Addison just to make Lily mad.

 

She's such a turd sometimes/ALLTHETIME.

 

 

LOOK!

 

I was there!

 

I existed during the trick or treating!

 

 

I'll end this post with Spider Baby on a mission.

 

This is how we spent the majority of our evening.

 

Making sure Spider Turd didn't run into the street and spill her candy bucket 8 more times or whack any strangers with her glo stick.

 

All in all we were successful this year!

 

Can't wait for next year!