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Our family consists of Paul (aka Daddy or Daddy-Doo). He loves his little girls, wife and family more than anything in the world. Velvet (aka MaMa Velvet or Mommy). I'm a photographer and very happy stay at home Mom who can't get enough time with my little ones! Lily (aka Monster, Stinkerbutt and Sweet Pea). She's a very smart, talkative, opinionated and loving 9 year old! Addison (aka Addi-Doo, Addi Bo Baddy and Turkey Butt). She's 5, spunky, energetic, snuggly, and full of so much sass! Finally, we've got Scarlett (Munchkin Butt, Bo, and The Cheese Monster)! She's 3 years old and enjoys playing by herself, sneaking cheese, and playing pretend with everyone!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Public Humiliation... Toddler Style.

Addison and I walked into the very large bathroom at Fred Meyer per her request to go potty.

The second we entered the bathroom this conversation began.

Mind you the bathroom has 8 other ladies in it.

"Mom. That lady POOPED."

"Mom. That lady is POOPING IN THERE!"

"Mom. Someone's POOPING!!!"

A couple of the women started to snicker as I quietly told Addison to shut her embarassing trap.

We made it to the very last stall and shut the door.

"Mama! There's POOP in my BUTT!"

I told her that she needed to use her inside voice as I listened to the ladies in the restroom laugh just a little bit louder.

"Don't look at me while I POOP MOM!"
I turned around and covered my eyes.

 (she really doesn't like anyone one watching her "do the deed")

As loud as humanly possible I listened to her groan the ENTIRE time she was doing her business.

Upon completion she loudly declared...

"Mom. I pooped out my BUTT! You WIPE MY BUTT MOM! YOU WIPE IT!!!"

The ladies were howling.

I was frantically cleaning the child and trying to get out of there before she said anything more embarassing.

Without fail, my lovely toddler drove the last nail into my embarassment coffin.

"Mama. If you poop, don't forget to wipe your butt and your 'gina."

She threw open the stall door and proudly exited the bathroom.

One pound lighter and with a red faced Mom.

All eight ladies had stayed for the duration of my childs fecal and vocal performance.

"Oh, she's cute!"

I don't think I've ever exited a Fred Meyer faster.


7 comments:

  1. The funniest things kids say...

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  2. I was trying to tell Richard this story last night...definitely should have waited to have him read this! lol SO FUNNY!!

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  3. LOVE THIS!! :) I've totally been there! :) [literally... Wood Village? lol]

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  4. Very funny, now I understand why you guys were laughing so hard at church.-Richard Golden

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  5. So funny!! She cracks me up!

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  6. silly little girl!!!

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