Abounding Angels

Our family attended the Christmas Eve service at our church and I was part of the worship team.

The service ran a little differently then usual.

Instead of the worship team doing their "thang" and then exiting the stage for the sermon all of the songs were dispersed throughout the message.

I informed my Papa Pastor that I didn't think my girls would behave very well with only one adult wrangling the monsters.

I may have been discredited though because this did follow me letting everyone know that the line "Holy infant so tender and mild" gave me the distinct impression that jesus was being referred to as a savory steak...

but I digress...

Come service time we made it a full two songs into our worship set before Addison decided that she wanted to be with Mommy.

Imagine if you will, seeing this little beauty...



crawling up a rather large stage to give her mom some fantastic snuggles.

"Awwww!" definitely escaped some mouths.

Pastor Randy did a fantastic job and kept going with the sermon in spite of my show stopping middle.

She snuggled for approximately 30 seconds before she realized that not only was she onstage but that there was an audience.

Paul says she had a fantastic look of shock right before she focused all her energy on glaring at the back of Pastor Randy's head.

She stayed on stage for 1 full song and a small portion of the sermon at which point she decided that the stage (or Mommy) weren't "doing it" for her anymore and needed to exit quickly.

She climbed down from Mommy said her goodbyes and proceeded to literally jump center stage.

Center stage is a good foot lower then the rest of the stage.

She got some air.

Landed with the sound of a small giant.

Face planted.

Then snaked on her belly off the stage.

Everyone in the congregation was sniggering right up until Pastor Randy came back with...

"I guess we have angels abounding too!"

to which everyone laughed out loud.

This kid never ceases to embarass me.

Good thing she's cute.

The little abounding angel.

Public Humiliation... Toddler Style.

Addison and I walked into the very large bathroom at Fred Meyer per her request to go potty.

The second we entered the bathroom this conversation began.

Mind you the bathroom has 8 other ladies in it.

"Mom. That lady POOPED."

"Mom. That lady is POOPING IN THERE!"

"Mom. Someone's POOPING!!!"

A couple of the women started to snicker as I quietly told Addison to shut her embarassing trap.

We made it to the very last stall and shut the door.

"Mama! There's POOP in my BUTT!"

I told her that she needed to use her inside voice as I listened to the ladies in the restroom laugh just a little bit louder.

"Don't look at me while I POOP MOM!"

I turned around and covered my eyes.

 (she really doesn't like anyone one watching her "do the deed")

As loud as humanly possible I listened to her groan the ENTIRE time she was doing her business.

Upon completion she loudly declared...

"Mom. I pooped out my BUTT! You WIPE MY BUTT MOM! YOU WIPE IT!!!"

The ladies were howling.

I was frantically cleaning the child and trying to get out of there before she said anything more embarassing.

Without fail, my lovely toddler drove the last nail into my embarassment coffin.

"Mama. If you poop, don't forget to wipe your butt and your 'gina."

She threw open the stall door and proudly exited the bathroom.

One pound lighter and with a red faced Mom.

All eight ladies had stayed for the duration of my childs fecal and vocal performance.

"Oh, she's cute!"

I don't think I've ever exited a Fred Meyer faster.

We've Got Ourselves...

a 'puller-upper'!



She sure is extra proud of herself too!

Mischief...

Someone in my house...

Has Been up to no good.

Don't think for one second that she didn't get encouragement from an anonymous source though...

even if she'll deny involvement to the very end.

Monster Quotes

I realized today that I've only ever put up 'Quote Posts' for Addison.

It's something that needs to be fixed IMMEDIATLY.

Enter Lily:

The Master of Hillarious Verbage

Please enjoy a few of my favorite conversations with the Lily Monster...

~

Lily: Dad, do you cry?

Dad: Yeah, when I'm really really sad.

Lily: When you cry do you scream like a lady?

~

I like your shirt Dad. I don't even care if you're wearing purple!

~

(Paul owns lots of soccer balls... now you may continue reading...)

Addison! Daddy is really sensitive about his balls! Don't touch Daddies balls Addison! He doesn't like it when people aren't gentle with his balls!!!

~

Having Scarlett was totally worth it!

~

Lily: wouldn't it be cool if we could have slaves?

Mama Velvet: People shouldn't be slaves sweetie. That doesn't really work out well.

Lily: Fine. Then Dad should build me a robot slave that I could boss around. I really need more time to do fun stuff.

~

Lily: Something tells me we're close to home.

Dad: What tells you that?

Lily: Restaraunts.

~

Dad: We had a hard time listening yesterday AND this morning so we're gonna be talking about naps later if we don't finish our lunch.

Lily: I will eat my lunch Daddy! Do or do not, there is no try!

~

Mama Velvet, if you have a boy you should name him Ders Erpes.

~

I have to go potty. I can hold it for 6 minutes and then I'm gonna have an accident. 6. I have warned you.

~

Addison and I have the same germs because she bites me a lot.

~

Mama Velvet, I think I need to go up to my room for a bit. Just to think about what I did. Just for a little bit. Then I'll come back down and say I'm sorry for not listening, and you'll say you forgive me. But I really think I should go up to my room first, you know, to think about what I did.

~

Dad: Lilyanna you are getting SO BIG!

Lily: I know! If you were to measure me next to Mama Velvet I'd be up to her... you know... nipples.

~

Mama Velvet: We did conferences with your teacher today Lil! She says you're one of the smartest kids in class.

Lily: Well duh, that's because I AM smart.

~

Scarlett is the cutest little baby I've ever seen.  I guess I should say the same about Addison... but she really annoys me sometimes.