Speak Joy Into Your Existence.

This last year has held some truly amazing moments for our family.

This last year has held some truly devastating moments for our family.

Both of these statements are true.

I have felt more joy and more pain than I could have ever wished for in my life.

When you become a parent, and I truly believe I became a parent the moment my stepdaughter took her very first breath, your life stops being about what you want or how you feel.

People say it all the time, but there is absolutely nothing that can prepare you for the true aftermath.

I like to think of my blog as a family journal.

A place to hold our memories, good and bad, to share with our children as we get older.

I have tried so hard to not permeate this space with any of the negative that happens in our family life but I feel as though that would be slightly dishonest.

Dear Lilyanna, Addison, and Scarlett,

Your Father and I love you so very much.

Thank you for always loving us in return.

When God gifted us with each of you, we made a promise to love, protect, cherish, and help you grow into amazing women. To be your providers and surround you with family and people that would uplift you and never tear you down.  To provide a home that you would thrive in.  To provide you a safe space to express yourself and your feelings.  To not only tell you what love should look like, but to be an example of love by our actions.  To give of ourselves and place our needs second to yours.

We as parents have had to make some very difficult decisions.

One's that people tell us you will "understand some day".

I know in my heart that this is said out of love and compassion but my wish for you three is that you never have to understand.  Not because we don't want you to know our failures, but because we hope you never have to feel the pain that leads up to them.

Through this last year we have had to make decisions that have hurt you and we are so sorry.  As parents, sometimes we have to make choices that you can't always understand and that you won't be happy about, but that need to be made.  Not everyone will agree with us, and that is fine, but in the end you are always what is most important and we will make decisions based solely on what we believe is best for you.  We will stand strong together in our beliefs and raise you three consistently with our actions and our words so that you know what it means to be a strong woman, a good friend, a supportive wife, and a selfless mother.

We will succeed and we will fail.

In our successes may we celebrate with you and lift you up so that you too may learn to succeed in life.

In our failures may we be humble, apologize, learn, and grow.  May you learn that life isn't always in the depths but that spending time in the valley's grow you as a person.  May you learn that your successes come with hard work and struggle, because in a life without bitterness, the sweet doesn't taste as heavenly.  May you know that life is exactly what you make of it.

Please see the good in life because there is so much more good than bad.

 Please be the lights you were made to be and shine into the darkness.

Please create joy wherever you go.

You three are your father and I's greatest Joys.